Thursday, 22 September 2011

I remember

It was over twenty years ago when my Mum died. Like many before and since she was diagnosed with cancer and soon she was gone. I find as time has gone on I've remembered less and less, I even find myself feeling guilty about that sometimes. Is that normal?

Even so It's funny how some things stick clear in my mind. I can remember vividly getting the call from my Nan to tell me my Mum had been diagnosed. I remember Tracy sat next to me on the bed in the shared house we lived in, the Yamaha DT125LC outside and the fact my dear old Nan couldn't stop crying. I also remember thinking It's probably not that big a deal. I was of course very much mistaken. It was a big deal, it truly was and sometimes still is.

The picture above was posted by a friend of my sisters (she's the one in the middle) on facebook today. For me this is a most wonderful thing. I never got to hang on to many photos of my Mum after she died and this is one I had never seen until today. The mixture of joy and sorrow it shot through my heart has been quite something. Not a nasty something, just a something. I find myself yet again thinking back and remembering my Mum. The way she would hold me and tell me everything would be ok, that look in her eye so filled with unconditional love, so unmistakable, so real.

As the years have passed I have, from time to time found myself forgetting this stuff, even sometimes forgetting my Mum. Tonight as I sit here this is not the case, not even nearly. And this is a good thing, an amazing this.  I was told everything would be ok, and you know what? it is.