Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Confident of my impending success

Last weekend the Dobbo's set off on yet another car boot sale search for a tunnel to complete Jacks ever growing train set. It's a mission that's been going on for a few weeks now and to be honest I suspect it'll go on for a few more. Two boot sales and best part of five hours latter and we emerged tunnel less, bereft of tunnel and no mistake.

However, the day was not totally fruitless. The eagle eyed Mrs D spotted one of those clip on baby loo seat things, the sort emblazoned with the legend "universal". She even checked with the seller who assured the wife it would fit any toilet seat with little if any effort. Fifty English pence latter we fled the scene seat in hand and full of hope.

Safe and secure in the fact that we had a true bargain  we made our way to that mighty man shop B&Q. Clearly the investment of a new grown up loo set to clip Jacks universal unit to would be the way to go. It took best part of an hour to choose  the right seat for I am a fussy chap when it comes to sitting down. In the end I went for a nice little wooden number and away I set, homeward bound. 

That's when the misery started.  Turns out the problem is my grasp of the English language. Apparently universal actually means "this will fit absolutely fuck all, ever!!!"
To make things worse, I'm not the kind of DIY chap that knows when to say when. The end result was an attempt to "modify" the seat so the universal thing would fit. Out came the drill and off I plunged adapting every part, sure and confident of my impending success.  Success did not come my way. Our toilet seat now has holes in the lid and no universal baby seat attachment. The whole escapade is to be filed under Bastard.