Thursday, 27 May 2010

I'm just sticking around.

I well remember my first C.A. meeting, almost as if it was yesterday - although in reality it was over seven years ago. I went along with a friend simply because he told me good things about it and I liked the way he conducted himself.

This meeting was to become my home group for the next few years, a regular meeting every week where I knew people and they knew me. A place where I could be comfortable, not only hearing the message of Cocaine Anonymous, but also having the chance to give a little service and carry the message of C.A.

The meeting was, and still is, a Big Book audio meeting. We would listen to a chapter then open the meeting up for members to share. We use the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in C.A. as our basic text. This is where we get the information to work the Twelve Steps and with that the solution to the life threatening illness we call drug addiction. We use this book very simply because it works, and has done for a long, long time.

After a short time I took on a commitment, I had been told that if I’m not giving something back to the fellowship I might be stealing. I didn’t like the sound of that so I put myself forward as the key person. I had to turn up early and be the last person out at the end of the meeting, this was great for me. A life time of hiding from people was turned around on the spot. Mostly I did okay, but one week I forgot to get the key and no one could get in the building.

I turned up full of fear about what people would say to me and how they would put me down.

In reality someone said “Its okay, lets have the meeting outside” We all sat in a big circle on the cliff top and the meeting carried on, it was a truly amazing experience. I knew then I would always be welcome in Cocaine Anonymous no matter what mistakes I made.

I also remember the bleak winter night that we had a power cut and people thought the meeting would be cancelled. Not in C.A. Committee members phoned each other and asked members to bring candles, and they did. We sat in candlelight and did the same as we always did; we stuck together and shared our hope.

As time went on my home group changed, my job changed and I moved home. But the love, patience and understanding I found in the fellowship of Cocaine Anonymous has always remained the same.

When I got here I liked it, and I still do. I think I’ll stick around.