Thursday, 27 May 2010

A bit of story

I came to the 12 steps because years of using had hammered me to my knees and I wanted to die. I knew I could not carry on using and you guys told me I would not have to. I now know that not using is only a tiny part of the gifts this programme has given me.

A few days before the anniversary of my sixth drug free year, my baby son was taken in to hospital. He had lost 10% of his body weight and was really very ill. One of the nurses held his little arm as the other was trying to find a vain so they could get some fluids in to him. While this was going on he just looked at me with that ‘help me Daddy’ gaze, unable to move.

At that point I realized I was in the middle of yet another spiritual experience. I was able to look my son in the eye and say “don’t worry, it will be ok”. In slightly less then a week he was ok and is now home and well. My point is this; six years ago I could have done nothing else but run and hide. The fear that dominated my life would not have let me do anything else.

The power I have found in the 12 steps has truly changed every area of my life. Today that power is with me everywhere I go, it has leaked in to all areas of my life. I came here because I could not stand life any more; I stay here because I love life so much more.